Wednesday, June 16, 2010

maunderings

Honestly, there is nothing I like better than copying files. So rewarding.

Not.

Right now I am in the midst of copying files from backup discs of my old laptop to my new laptop. Well, my new-to-me laptop, anyway.

I have a lot of pictures, and this is very boring.

In the meantime, I'm entertaining myself by reading old blogs and writing this new one. Not that I have anything particularly meaningful to say, however I think it's good to get into the habit of writing every day anyway. Or as close to it as I can manage.

Today was pretty nondescript. Meetings, work, emails, phone calls, pretty run of the mill. I did notice that sometimes I can be rude though. Seriously, when a coworker seems to be doing things inefficiently or isn't catching on as quick as I think they should, I see myself acting kind of rude and mean. Which in some cases is okay, and in others I just end up feeling like a jerk. I tend to think that I have to do everything if it's going to come out right, and no, I don't need anyone to tell me that doing it all myself is impossible. I just want to.

Tonight's going to be another night staying in watching movies. On the one hand, I'm okay with that because we're spending less money that way and on the other hand sometimes I think I am going to go crazy if we spend one more night inside this house. It's a pickle!

Lately I'm of two minds about going out anyway. I have gained like 15 pounds since I was doing really well at the gym and it's depressing. Sometimes I stop and think how ridiculous it is that I am so obsessed with the idea that I'm fat and disgusting and I just wish I could accept myself and believe that even at my present weight I'm still sexy and attractive. I remind myself that a lot of the sexiness factor is all attitude but for whatever reason I can't get it up. Metaphorically speaking.

So at times when I feel that way, staying in is perfectly acceptable. I'm sure it's terribly tiresome to hear about it over and over so I don't really mention it to Band Geek since first of all I don't want to expose all my insecurities, and secondly what is he going to do about it? Agree with me? I can do without that.

It's not like it's all the time anyway. Just recently I've felt it more often than other times.

Anyway I didn't want to turn this into a pity party so I'll stop there. On the whole things are going pretty well at the moment - I'm reasonably happy and aside from going slightly stir crazy, all is pretty right in my world.

Carry on.