Wednesday, January 28, 2009


Monopoly (or, "Bodoply" when I'm sick and my nose is stuffed and I can't pronounce m's or n's very well, as has been the case a time or two over the past month) is pretty much the best game ever invented. For my iPhone, anyway.

I downloaded it for a whopping 7.99 about a month ago, and didn't play it except once up until about two weeks ago. Since then I don't think I've cracked a book once. Obviously I haven't blogged much either.

It's Bodoply's fault, I tell you.

There's something about the trading of properties and slow collection of millions upon millions of dollars, combined with the quiet (or, sometimes loud, depending on how many apple martinis I've had) satisfaction of bankrupting the poor computer player and getting all his properties that is just totally addictive.

Second place is Scrubs.
Euphemisms aside, I love this show. Literally. Over the past three weeks I have purchased all six seasons on DVD. I am currently in the midst of the first disc in season 1. I think this will come close to competing with my absolute and utter adoration of the Office. Seriously. Hard to believe, I know, but true.

Roomies are all moved in. They and their cat (henceforth FatCat because, well, he is simply the fattest cat I have ever seen) are comfortably ensconced in the former attic-turned-living-space. This has somewhat discommoded the Cat That Formerly Lived In The Attic since the door between the upstairs and downstairs is now permanently closed and she has nowhere to go to escape Demon Kitty. FatCat doesn't have any claws in his liddle front paws so we're thinking that its best if he and Demon Kitty never meet. Hence, closed door.

We had like, a minute of snow yesterday. I only got to use four wheel drive once before it all melted which kind of sucks but I guess that's better than three weeks of ice and snow that we just got done with, so...whatever.

Tonight I'm off to finish tattoo # 7 (shown above corner) and am VERY excited. This is the first one that I've actually been able to watch clearly as it's being done - the rest being on my back, upper chest, or ankle (being just a little star, it was watchable but not very interesting). So I should have updated pics of that by tomorrow.
That is all. Hope all is well for you!!

Monday, January 12, 2009

to blog or not to blog...that is the question. maybe.

I think most bloggers fall into three different categories.

Those that use blogging as a way of communicating with their family and friends, those that are blogging with a specific purpose, such as for their jobs or hobbies, and those that use blogging as an online journal to get out their thoughts and feelings.

I think I fall into the last category, and this can get me in trouble sometimes.

Because I'm a pretty open person, I probably share more in my blogs than the people I write about really feel comfortable with. For me, blogging is a way of sharing my feelings and thoughts with (mostly) people I have never (and probably will never) meet...sort of like an online group therapy session, I guess.

The problem is that a lot of times, I write about my thoughts and feelings and those thoughts and feelings directly pertain to someone that is not me and may not feel as happy and fuzzy about my sharing as I do. As an example, sometimes one might write that one wishes someone's penis would fall off...which can be awkward if they read it.

Not that I know anything about that, of course.

I am on the fence. Do I censor myself and not write about other people? Or do I continue to write what I think and feel and not worry about what other people feel about it?

I can see both sides, I guess. For me it's a release, a venting. For others, it's airing my dirty laundry for the world to see. I guess for the people reading, it might be a little off putting to read about someone's intimate thoughts and feelings on everything, I suppose. For me, when reading, I like reading about people's thoughts and feelings because it helps me identify with those people and know that I'm not alone. I guess that's my hope with blogging as well...that someone will read about the angst I am having that day and realize that there are other people out there that have the same problems they do, and maybe they realize that the world is smaller than they think, and maybe in that small way I make the world a better place.

Of course, it's also possible that I'm totally off my rocker and need to zip my blogging lips with judicious application of duct tape.

It's a pickle.

In thinking about it over the last few days, I'd like to apologize to anyone I've ever written about that was hurt or offended by anything I wrote about them, and I will do my best to limit my online brain dumps to discussing only my own feelings and thoughts and not involve anyone else.

Hopefully that will work. We'll see.

Friday, January 2, 2009

so there

Resolution for the new year: stop handing control of my situation to other people.

GoodMan, who now REALLY needs a new name, has really kind of pushed me past my limit. My tarot card reading the other day counseled temperance...but I am having a really hard time feeling the love right now.

After several cases where he's conveniently forgotten to return my calls, or flat out ignored my emails and texts, I confronted him yesterday about what sort of bug, exactly, he has up his ass.

Apparently, he's not ready to discuss it. That as soon as he is, we can sit down and talk. That yes, he's mad, though not as mad as he was, and when he's ready, we'll talk.

Two months from when he started acting like a jackass, and "when he's ready, we'll talk."

This kind of behavior is exactly why I left him in the first place. He is a good man with a good heart but has this thing where when he's mad about something, he will give you the silent treatment until he's ready. Frankly, at 34 years old, and a MALE, I would think he'd be beyond this behavior. Apparently not.

I realized during my post-encounter rant that this is his way of maintaining control over our relationship. As long as I'm on pins and needles trying to figure out why he's upset, he maintains control.

So, instead, I will just withdraw from the situation. I am doing the things I am supposed to do, I am making my support payments when I am supposed to. I will continue to do that, and expect to see my son when I am supposed to see him, and if I get more "forgotten" callbacks or overnights with friends scheduled on the night when I am supposed to have him, I will make myself into a royal pain in the ass.

I'm rather good at that.

For those that might not know, my son lives with my ex (fka GoodMan). For more background, review the 100 Miles stuff.

Anyway, a couple of months ago, my ex started acting really wierd. He stopped meeting me on my days to pick up my son, instead sending his wife. When I called several times to talk to my son, no one returned my calls. I sent an email asking what the hell was going on, and didn't get a response. On nights when I was supposed to have my son, it would turn out that he didn't have time to meet me, or had scheduled an overnight for the Kid or some other bullshit reason (or refused to give any reason at all) to prevent me from seeing him on the days I am supposed to.

Then, when I confront him, he says "when he feels like it, we will talk."

Well, all I have to say is, fuck that mess. He can be mad at me as he wants to be, but if he thinks for a second that he's going to keep my son away from me, or restrict my contact with him, he better sit down and have a good think about that, because there will be a come to Jesus meeting the likes of which he has never before experienced. I am not even joking.

So. This year, my new year's resolution is: no more handing out control of my life to other people. It's ridiculous and stupid and self-destructive, and I'm just not gonna do it anymore.

So there.

Happy New Year!